Cry
by Gurglenator
Summary: This is my first fic. It's a DearkaXMilly fic. Rated T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

An: this is my first fic. I love constrictive criticism, so go ahead it will make me a better writer.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed and never will. Only in my wildest dreams.

MILLY'S POV

Cry. He was gone, so that's what I did, I cried. I never thought loosing someone could hurt this much. I guess you never realize what you have until it's gone, and that guy, he made the pain worse. Why did he have to come on this ship? Why? He was kind of cute… WAIT what am I saying! Tolle is dead I can't get over him this fast can I? _You can… _who are you and why are you in my head? _I'm your heart, the one that told you to jump Flay when she had the gun and was going to shoot him. _Oh… then tell me am I aloud to fall in love with someone this fast after Tolle died? Isn't that bad I mean he just died._ That my dear is for you to find out over time… _I miss you Tolle, I wish you were here.

"Milly.." I sat up right there. That was Tolles voice! "Tolle?" I whispered. But I was wrong it was just Sai, he sat down next to me. "How are you doing? That was a hard situation to go through."He told me.

"I'm fine…" I knew he knew I wasn't, but I wasn't going to say. I was looking away from him but I could feel him frowning at me when I said that.

"Are you sure? I mean you were a little shaken in the Medical wing." Ha! A little shaken I almost killed that guy. If that was a little shaken then I want to see what he thinks psychotic is.

"I'm fine really Sai. You can leave if you want I'm not going to kill my self if that's what you think. I actually feel better." I heard him sigh and stand up.

"Okay Milly, if you need something just find me okay?" I nodded, he left. I wonder if I will ever feel completely happy again.

DEARKA'S POV

I can't believe that I hit the nail on the head when I decided to make that comment. I should've just said something like "what is the little natural tired?" but no I had to ask if her boyfriend died. Someday my big mouth is going to get me killed. I think Yzak and maybe even Athrun told me that once. Damn I'm so stupid; I just kept picking on that girl. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, I banged my head against the bed. "OW!" great I'm acting like the naturals, worse I don't think naturals are that stupid. I guess I should apologize to her if I ever see her again. She was pretty, I smacked my head again. What am I talking about she's a natural! I should just get some sleep and think about this later.

SAI'S POV

I hope Milly really is okay. Tolle wasn't just her boyfriend he was her best friend, I know I could have seen them getting married, and that guy. He hurt her more, I don't know what he said but I do know that it was bad if he got Milly to try and kill him. But she seemed better when I talked to her, more sarcastic but better. I also think she misses Kira, but something makes me think that Kira is still alive. I hope I'm right but I can't be, can I? "_Birdie" _I look up, there it is Birdie Kira's prized position. I think I heard from him that a friend had given it to him a long time ago. Things are a lot different since Kira and Tolle died and it hasn't even been that long. I look at Birdie on my shoulder. Now that I think about it that fight I had with Kira over Flay it was stupid. Flay and I just weren't meant to be. It wasn't all Kira's fault, it was partly Flays, she used Kira and I think even he knows it. I shake my head, this is too much to think about right now, I should get some sleep. So I walked into my room along with Birdie. "I will keep Birdie safe for you… Kira…" and I laid down and closed my eyes keeping Birdie on next to me.


	2. Chapter 2

An: I hope you guys liked the first chapter. It isn't the best I could write but I'm trying.

Disclaimer: Love Gundam Seed, but don't own it.

Chapter 2

DEAKA'S POV

I woke up and there was that girl standing in front of me. She seemed scared, I actually felt bad; hell I felt bad yester day when I made that stupid boyfriend comment. When I looked at her I remembered yester day, I sighed and sat up. "So where was your boyfriend?" I asked her? She looked a bit confused. "Where was your boyfriend when he died?"

MILLY'S POV

My eye widened. _"where was your boyfriend when he died?" _I felt tears form, but I wasn't going to cry in front of him. Not again. I gathered all the courage I could and told him. "He was… at the last battle… in a Sky Grasper."

"Sky Grasper?" I heard him ask. I didn't think he would know.

"A blue and white fighter jet…" I saw him nod.

" I didn't kill him." Then he laid back down. "If you're here to kill me go ahead I won't stop you." I smiled a little. I guess he still remembers that incident.

"Don't worry I won't, by the way I'm Miriallia.." and then I walked back up to my room.

DEARKA'S POV

I opened my eyes again to see her walk away, did she really just tell me her name. This girl is strange, but I guess that's what I get from a natural, a cute natural, but still a natural. She seems better than the psychotic girl that tried to kill me than saved me buy that girl. At first I thought people in the Earth Alliance were all blue cosmos but I think I was wrong. From what I saw her do to the red head I don't think she hates coordinators. Hmmm…. I might have a chance to ask her out after the war, see if dating a natural would really be that bad. I guess I will think about that more later.

An: sorry that I'm writing really short chapters but like I said it is my first fic and I'm doing a learn as you go thing. My head also hurts from a big French exam I had today. Sorry again, please r&r.


	3. Chapter 3

An: Hey I'm back… please I need reviews. T.T I feel sad, I know I'm bad a writing but you could all at least pretend I'm good. Unless you think I really am good then I'm happy! 

Thank you to the one person that did review for me. Oh and I'm writing this at 10 and kinda tired because I was just at a friends birthday party screaming my head off. I also have to sneeze really bad. Just wanted to share. ;;

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed. Never have, Never will. (besides no one would read it if I did.)

**Let the story begin!**

DEARKA'S POV

It's been awhile since the natural came and visited, other than occasionally bringing food she hasn't really visited. (an: by the way I just wanted you to know I'm now going to write about the part where she let him go.) I heard a door open, I sat up and there was the girl, but she was holding my pilots suit. So I asked "Transfer or Questioning?" She didn't answer, she just opened the door and threw the suit at me.

"Your being let go, the ship is about to go into battle." I gave a confused look. "The earth forces are going to attack Orb and the Archangel is going into battle." She said that as she was walking away, I followed her. Then I grabbed her arm.

"Hey… are you going to?" I asked her, it was strange but I actually cared. Then I felt her yank her arm out of grasp.

"I would hope so I'm in charge of this ships CIC!" She glared for a minute and left me standing there, mouth wide open. I never thought a natural would do that, she seemed so… strong and proud. Nothing like the broken down and teary eyed girl I saw the first time I saw her on this ship.

"Wait where is my Buster?" I yelled hoping she'd hear it.

"Just great!" I sighed and decided it was best to leave when I still had the chance so I left.

MILLY'S POV

I felt kind of bad leaving him all alone on this ship while I left, but what can I say he annoyed me and I had to keep up with my act when I looked all pissed off. I don't know what it is right now but I really don't want him to leave. He doesn't seem to bad, he does have a big mouth that he is going to get him self killed with but he actually seemed generally concerned about me. He kind of reminds me of a mixture of Tolle and Sai. Tolle, I still miss you but please watch over that man while he leaves keep him out of trouble.

An: I'm done for now. Another really short chapter right. Sorry again. Like I said I'm tired. Please read and review. I beg of you… on knees begging well see ya. yawn I will update soon, I hope and if you review I will up date faster.


	4. Chapter 4

An: I'm back…Sorry just thought I would try scaring people. I doubt it worked. You would have to know me to be scared.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed.

MILLY'S POV

This battle seems to be going horrible. They are so strong even with Kira's help, I'm so glad he's alive. I hope that guy's ok, I hate myself for telling him my name but not getting his. Why am I thinking this during a battle. Then I looked. Damn we are so freaking dead, Tolle guess I'm coming to see you. I closed my eyes, but then the thing was gone and I heard. "Archangel fall back!" It was him, he came back and helped us.

DEARKA'S POV

"Archangel fall back!" I shot him down, protected the Archangel… and her. How could I not, this is a bad battle besides its not like I'm fighting ZAFT. I'm just trying to stop the Earth Alliance from getting any stronger than they already are, those bastards. But I can't help thinking that I stayed for a bigger reason, actually I know I stayed for a bigger reason. It was her, she been going through my mind since I left even before then. Yzak would have smacked me so hard by now. He probably would have had a gun to my head and told me he would shoot me in the head if he found out that I was falling in love with a natural.

Yzak. He was my best friend and right now I would be betraying him. I know most of his dirty little secrets. (an: I love that song! All-American Rejects rock!) I was there when everyone thought he was gay, mostly because they thought I was at the begging too… that is until they found my little black book. I just still can't help feeling guilty doing this to him. If he found out he would kill me, even if I'm fighting the Earth Alliance. I'm fighting along with the person the piloted the strike and gave Yzak that scar and killed Nicol. I'm fighting with the ship that we followed for months and couldn't stop. But the worst part is that the biggest reason that I came back to help them is because I fell in love with a natural. The people that took so many lives on Junius 7, including Yzak's father. (I don't know if that's true but I'm going with that.) that is the worst betrayel that I could think of.

I came back to my senses relizing the battle was over so I landed and came out, it's exaughting thinking and fighting at the same time.

MILLY'S POV

The battle is over for now they just pulled back. I don't know why they pulled back but they did. I walked off the Archangel and looked around, war is a horrible thing. The building around the coast were gone, the cliffs had giant holes in them. There were pieces of mobile suits and jets all over the place. It was a disaster, people were in med. tent's and some were even laying on the ground exaughsted. But when Kira and that other ship landed everyone went and saw. He was there too, he looked tired. I hope he can get some rest that was a hard fight for all of us, but it was harder for him because he was out there fighting and we were just sitting on our asses and watching stats.

"YOU TWO ARE IDIOTS!" That snapped me out of my thoughts. Cagalli was yelling at Kira and a guy with blue hair. That must be Kira's friend that we found out about when Kira brought Lacus Clyne back to that ZAFT ship. I'm pretty sure that Kira had started to like her. Great I was just reminded of that guy again. It's like I fell in love again. Wait, I fell in love again? I guess Tolle wants me to be happy. I know he would have wanted me happy either way but I still feel like I'm betraying him.

Tolle and I were much more than just boyfriend and girlfriend. We were best friends. We shared everything with each other, I had dreams of marrying him. He even brought it up once, he told me that when the war was over we should get married, but I don't see that happening anymore. When we were on the Archangel together he told me that If anything happened to me I should do anything that would make me happy. He wanted me to be happy no matter what, I told him the same and I meant it. I know he would have listened to me if I died so looks like I should listen to him. But I don't know what to do yet. I hope I find out before it's way too late.

DEARKA'S POV

So Athrun knows that Kira guy. I should've known, the way he was always spacing out during battles or when he seemed overly mad about something it was all this. It's not that Athrun is much of a friend to me but I guess he was a comrad and always will be, even if we don't see eye to eye. I glanced over to my side, there was that girl again. She's back in my mind again. I should tell her but I know how, this is so confusing.

An: there I wrote a longer chapter but I still think it's short. R&R. See ya later peoples.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed

DEARKA'S POV

I can't believe what has happen. First I was taken captured and when I'm let go I come back to the same ship that took me captured. Funny what crazy things you do when you find out your in love with the girl that tried to kill you than saved you. It feels strange Athrun and I agreeing on something, maybe Yzak and I would but I never thought I would agree with Athrun. I always thought Athrun was a wimp the way he was on the battlefield, but now I know it was because he had to fight his friend. I don't know what I'm going to do when I face Yzak, but I know that it's going to be hard.

I guess that Milly may be giving me some strength, it's sad I'm not really supposed to call her Milly. I asked if I could call her Miriallia and she said no… then I asked again and then she said fine. I think I just annoyed her that's why she said yes, but I'm not going to push her on Milly. She is so strong and yet she is a natural. I was always told stories about natural and how they were evil and weak people that they had to use big weapons to keep them alive. My parent hated naturals; I was always told that they weren't even worth keeping alive if they were taken captured. When I look at Miriallia I relies that my parents were wrong. If I told them I was falling for her they would disown me.

MILLY'S POV

I can't believe I told him he could call me by my real name. I guess I actually like it though I think I rather have him call me by my real name than stumble on words. Maybe I will let him use my nickname, MAYBE. Am I really falling for him, the only other person I opened up to this fast was Tolle. I don't want to tell him though, he probably wouldn't go for a natural girl anyway, and I doubt that he even really notices me accept as the girl that tried to kill him. If he did go for me that would be a great story to tell grandchildren: "your grandpa and I met on a battle ship when I tried to kill him." Yeah that would be a great story, or when I decide to tell my dad and mom: "Hey Dad Mom I fell head over heals for a coordinator boy that I tried to kill, well see you later." I see that going so well. WAIT I'm already thinking about telling my parent, if that not a sign show me a real one.

DEARKA'S POV

I need to tell her some how that I like her maybe even love her with out making her freak out and try to kill me again, once is enough for me. Do I want to tell her before or after the war is over, I don't want to put more stress on her and make her worry more for someone then loose me like she did her other love. What do I do? Yzak would laugh and tell me to get over the natural. Maybe I should ask Athrun. YEAH! That what I will do! So I walked all around the ship and finally found Athrun. "Hey Athrun I need to talk to you about something"

Athrun turned around and looked at me. "Yeah? What is it Dearka?" He look really kind of confused, it was funny.

"Uh…" I rubbed the back of my neck. "I never thought I would ask you but" I mumbled this last part. "I think I like that brown haired natural girl."

He looked at me and actually laughed. HE LAUGHED. Then he looked at me, I was blushing and his face turned to shock. "Your serious…?"

I glared at him, and it wasn't one of those little wimpy glares you give when you are embarrassed it was one of those "I'm-so-going-to-kill-you" glares. "Of course I serious." I said through gritted teeth.

He laughed nervously. "Uh… I'm sorry to say Dearka but I really don't know what to say about this one. Are you sure you like this girl? Or is she one of those girls you picked up in bars in PLANT?"

He was seriously asking me this time. What did I feel? I know this feels a lot different then when I was with girls in PLANT. "I don't know what I feel. I actually think I might love her…" I looked down and sighed, this was really hard for me to handle.

Athrun put hand on my shoulder, I looked at him and he smiled. "You know if you feel that strongly about a person than you should tell them. But it's your decision when you ask her." And he just walked away after that. Great another big decision, can't they give me a break I just betrayed my own people and now I have to decide when to tell someone I love them.

MILLY'S POV

I was just walking when I heard Athrun and Dearka talking. That when I heard it _"I don't know what I feel. I actually think I might love her…" _I was to shocked to move, he likes me back. Then something worse happened, he turned the corner and saw me. "M-Miriallia?"

An: HA! CLIFFIE! Sorry I needed to do that. I need to work on the next part a little sorry I haven't updated in a little while. I've just been so stressed at school; we had battle of the book (2nd place for the third time!) we had mock trial (I'm a witness: chief of police, very big part) Women's Panel audition (cool school thing) I can't think of the other stuff but whatever.


	6. Chapter 6

An: okay so last time I left you with the cliff… I guess I can do the next chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not and I will not ever own Gundam Seed.

MILLY'S POV

OH GOD HE SAW ME! I better come up with a good way to say I didn't hear him. "You heard me didn't you?" I looked up at him, he was looking down I couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or shame. What ever it was I had to cover my but and make him feel better.

"Hear what?" I LOVE ACTING CLASS! I never thought it would come in handy, I always thought it was just stupid and I was wasting my money. I was looking at him he looked relived. Then he smirked it totally ruined the moment.

He looked at me with his stupid smirking face. "Good thing you didn't hear because it defiantly not something an innocent little natural girl needs to know." That when I got mad. I glared at him, which was really hard to do because what he said had completely sunken in.

He then walked by and I knew he heard it when I mumbled "ass" because I saw him smirk more then whispered "I like yours too" and I just glared.

DEARKA'S POV

Yes! I lucked out! She didn't hear me, but I don't know why I'm happy about that, that means I still have to tell her. Man she looked cute when she was mad, and I loved her face when what I said finally sunk in. What I said about her ass was true too. Great, now I'm as bad as I was in PLANT, I'm just too good at it.

I walked into the room that I sleep in with Athrun and sat down. I think everything about this war is starting to get to me. I feel like a freaking girl the way my moods have been. I go from happy and then I remember home or one of my friends. I feel like I have a sad life, but then I realize that there are a lot of people that have it worse than I do. Yzak lost his dad in the "Bloody Valentine Tragedy", Miriallia lost her boyfriend in battle, and I don't know about that captain lady but it looks like she has a necklace that says RIP on it so she probably lost someone to this war. The only thing is seems to me is my dignity, the way I keep changing my mind and betraying people. I need some rest this is hard on me. So I went to sleep.

MILLY'S POV

I decided to let him wait until he wants to tell me, I will let him know how I feel too. I know that this must be stressful for him; I mean he just betrayed his own people. I don't think it was as hard on Athrun as it was on Dearka, Athrun was still betraying his people but he was also joining his friend, but Dearka he only really came back because of me. I wish I could tell him that everything will be fine. I know that he doesn't know about me watching him when he is in his Buster making repairs and working on the OS but I watch him and I see how stressed he is. We are all stressed, but I notice it most in him.

Back when I was covering and saying that I didn't hear what he said he kind of reminded me of Tolle. I know that Tolle would joke around like that it was always something I loved about him. He may be gone but he's watching over me and I now know that he wants me to move on and I know I have too. So Tolle if you can here me, I think I may have really found the person, not to replace you, but to be the next person I love. I'm not a girl who likes to get a guy just to replace someone else. All of a sudden I looked around I was in my room. I don't remember walking here but I guess I did. I should get some sleep anyway, so I went to sleep.

An: that's all for now, I'm way tired and it's not eve 10 yet…I feel pathetic. ANNNNYWAAAY just read and review people.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed… but I do wish I did… maybe operation kidnap Athrun to make evil haros is a good plan… but again… I don't own Gundam Seed.

DEARKA'S POV

I sat here crying, ME CRYING! I should have known it wasn't going to be easy to fight my best friend. He knows thing about me that some of my other friends don't know. I miss being able to argue with Yzak sometimes but now that I think about it I guess he probably hates me now so I shouldn't worry about that. I heard the door open, I wiped away the tears as fast as I could and sat there. Milly sat down next to me. I think this is a little strange for her.

"How are you doing?" She asked me, I looked at her she really did look concerned.

"I'm fine," I told her, but I know that's a loud of shit. I never cry and minutes before there I was crying. I wish that Yzak had been with me that day. The day where she almost killed me, that's the day I relised that the prejudice was just so stupid. Naturals aren't stupid and they aren't monsters.

I heard her sigh, that is a bad sign I'm guessing. "You aren't fine. You were crying and if I know guys, which I do because my best friends were four guys, I know that guys don't cry unless it really is that bad." DID SHE JUST SAY THAT! I so was not crying, okay I was but I won't admit it out side of my head.

"I was NOT crying" I was glaring at her now. Wait she was laughing, LAUGHING! Oh come on that is a major blow to my ego. I hate girls sometimes. Wait did I just say I hate girls? Wow! I really am out of it.

She finally stopped laughing. I was almost disappointed; she has a really pretty laugh. "I'm sorry," she said. "Will you please tell me what's wrong?"

I sighed this time. Okay I guess I will tell her, I looked away and then something happened that I didn't expect, she put her hand on mine, I looked at her again. "Okay I will tell you." I took a deep breath. "I fought my best friend Yzak today."

She nodded. "This is beginning to sound a lot like Kira and Athrun." I smiled a little.

"Great now I have another thing in common with Athrun," She giggled a little at that. "I guess I'm going to have to get used to that, fighting Yzak and other friends." She smiled at me.

"Yes you will, but you won't have to face any of it alone" I looked at her a little confused. Then she said something that would surprise everybody in this room, if there were anyone other than us in this room. "I'll be her for you."

We stared at each other for a while, and then I hugged her. "Thank you." She was a little in shock but other than that she hugged me back.

MILLY'S POV

I hugged him back, and smiled. The thing is that he doesn't know how much he has helped me. He is helping me get over Tolle and maybe learn to love again. I hate war but if it weren't for war I wouldn't have met Dearka. We were still hugging, it felt so nice to comfort someone else and not be comforted by anyone else. Then he let go, I think I was blushing a little because he smirked then whispered. "Is that blush meant for me or are you thinking about a different hot guy that hugged you?"

OH COME ON! He just had to ruin the moment. I glared at him, he smirked more, and I rolled my eyes. "You just can't go with out a sarcastic comment can you?"

"Nope." More smirking from him. "Besides I wouldn't be me if I didn't smirk."

I laughed a little at that then stood up. "I have to go, I'm on duty now I'll see later Dearka." I smiled and left. Maybe having him on the ship won't be that bad.

DEARKA'S POV

This is turning out to be good so far maybe I will get the guts to tell her, hey and I actually feel better. I feel like I could face anything right now. I wonder if maybe next time I will get a kiss in. I hope so. I'm going to go get some rest now that was a long battle besides someone else might come in. I wonder how Athrun is, he's probably with Kira, Lacus, and Cagalli right now on one of the other ships. I hope they are okay.

An: sorry this took so long. I am known for having long writers block and I'm really busy at school right now. 8th grade is tough sometimes and right now JSO our student organization is brook and we need money so we can do our cancer drive at the end of the year, and of course my chorus is getting ready for a contest so I have rehearsals for that, and I have 2 tests Monday. Busy busy schedule.


	8. Chapter 8

An: I'm BACK! YAY ME! okay anyway I know you probably all hate me right now because of me and that whole not writing a chapter in months thing… so… I guess I can say I'm sorry. I truly am sorry I mean wow I hate when other authors take so long yet here I am taking forever and you probably hate that I'm writing a lot so I'm going to stop now.

Disclaimer: I don't own gundam seed. If I did the world would be a dark and scary place…

DEARKA'S POV

I think this is going to be the last battle. I really think it will be, and I'm scared out of my wits. I know that it sounds weird me being scared out of my wits but I guess sometimes a guy just has those moments. I need to tell Miri if I don't and I die, I don't know what I will do. Just as I was thinking that I run into her, wow am I good. I look at her "Hey Miri, I need to talk to you."

MIRI'S POV

Is he going to tell me what I think he's going to tell me? WAIT! I better answer him. "uh… yes?"

"um uh…" Wow he looks nervous. " Um… well I… uh… think that.. I uh might… uh…" I think he might actually say it.

DEARKA'S POV

I should just spit it out, okay deep breath. "IthinkIfellinlovewithyou" Wow I couldn't even understand that.

"Huh?" apparently Miri couldn't either.

Okay Dearka take another deep breath let it out. "Miri… I think I'm in…love with you." Okay I said it now what is she going to do?

MIRI POV

I thought this would happen so I smiled. "I know."

Dearka kind of tool a double take there before he answered. "You did?"

"Yes… I kind of over heard you talking, um sorry I didn't say anything, I just wanted to let you say something." Wow I feel really almost bad, wait I forgot something. "And… I think I may love you too."

Now Dearka definitely took a double take there, I don't think he expected that one. I wonder what he's thinking now, I wonder if he is even thinking, I wonder if he breathing! "Dearka? Are you okay?"

Right after I said that he took a big breath and looked at me. "Uh... yeah I'm fine. Just I never actually expected for you to actually tell me you love me back, I thought it would all be one sided. I mean after the horrible thing I said about your old boyfriend Tolle, and I thought you still loved him."

I smiled more; I guess it was probably a little sad. "I do still love Tolle, but he wouldn't want me to live the rest of my life loving only him and staying single. I still love Tolle, but I love you too and you are the one that is alive and here now."

DEARKA'S POV

She still loves him but she loves me too and right now. I couldn't help it I pulled her to me and I kissed her, I think we would've kissed a lot longer to but some stupid blue haired Zala decided it would be a good time to walk down this hallway now. AND I THOUGHT HE WAS ON THE OTHER SHIP!

"Uh… Dearka..." I stopped but kept an arm around Miri's waist which she was blushing a lot at this point in time.

"What do you want _Zala?_" Okay I know I sounded a little pissed off but what would expect I was just kissing the person I love who I just found out loves me too.

All of a sudden his face went dark. "It's time." The two words I was really truly dreading to hear.

An: Well there you go the 8th chapter.


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